Sorry in advance, but this is going to be a bit of a wordy post.
I've read a lot in recent weeks on various blogs about who you are in blogland and I've been thinking about how I represent myself. Is it really me?
Well the answer is yes, but it is only a part of me. I started blogging as I wanted to connect with like minded quiltaholics and was really looking for someone to say, "Yes, your work is lovely, keep it up". I wanted encouragement and praise and I have to say I got that. Thank you all so very much.
What I wasn't sure about was what sort of relationships I would be able to build. How much of myself I would give, or even if I wanted to do that. Slowly but surely though I "met" some great people who I really enjoy interacting with. I've been inspired to try new techniques that take me out of my comfort zone and seen so many wonderful pieces that I want to try and emulate (i.e. copy).
However, I think the honesty of some bloggers is what makes me go back to them again and again, even if I'm pretty crap at commenting. Some people seem able to express themselves so well, warts and all but be constantly enjoyable to read. I'm not going to name names, I'm sure you have your own ideas but I am really glad I discovered them. The truth be told though is they sometimes make me so jealous! Yes, jealous! I have a problem with being that open, I wish I was but it doesn't come easily.
This is something I want to work on, and so to start, I'll let you into one of my secrets. I sometimes feel really inadequate reading the type of blogs I go to as most craft blogs are also very family orientated. I am single and childless and at 41 there isn't much chance of that changing. I know it just means that my experiences have been different from a lot of you, but it isn't always a rational feeling.
The truth is I would have loved to have kids, but I have massive trust issues. I might bore you all with some of the story one day, but my immediate family is disfunctional in the extreme. I know that when alls said and done I've got loads to be thankful for, but the single life can be extremely isolated and lonely. I'm not looking for sympathy by saying that, just wanted to explain myself.
Another thing to share is that I've hardly told anyone who knows me in the real world about this blog, even though it has been going 18 months now. I can't see that changing anytime soon either.
So, there you go. I've decided to try and be more open so this is my first attempt. It may well be my last but I will see how I get on.
But to finish on a positive note, I did a bit of on-line shopping and had this big pile of fabric delivered yesterday as I really needed some more! There is a lot more yardage in that pile than I want to admit, even to myself...