Sunday, 7 August 2011

Openness in blogland?

Sorry in advance, but this is going to be a bit of a wordy post.

I've read a lot in recent weeks on various blogs about who you are in blogland and I've been thinking about how I represent myself. Is it really me?

Well the answer is yes, but it is only a part of me. I started blogging as I wanted to connect with like minded quiltaholics and was really looking for someone to say, "Yes, your work is lovely, keep it up". I wanted encouragement and praise and I have to say I got that. Thank you all so very much.

What I wasn't sure about was what sort of relationships I would be able to build. How much of myself I would give, or even if I wanted to do that. Slowly but surely though I "met" some great people who I really enjoy interacting with. I've been inspired to try new techniques that take me out of my comfort zone and seen so many wonderful pieces that I want to try and emulate (i.e. copy).

However, I think the honesty of some bloggers is what makes me go back to them again and again, even if I'm pretty crap at commenting. Some people seem able to express themselves so well, warts and all but be constantly enjoyable to read. I'm not going to name names, I'm sure you have your own ideas but I am really glad I discovered them. The truth be told though is they sometimes make me so jealous! Yes, jealous! I have a problem with being that open, I wish I was but it doesn't come easily.

This is something I want to work on, and so to start, I'll let you into one of my secrets. I sometimes feel really inadequate reading the type of blogs I go to as most craft blogs are also very family orientated. I am single and childless and at 41 there isn't much chance of that changing. I know it just means that my experiences have been different from a lot of you, but it isn't always a rational feeling.

The truth is I would have loved to have kids, but I have massive trust issues. I might bore you all with some of the story one day, but my immediate family is disfunctional in the extreme. I know that when alls said and done I've got loads to be thankful for, but the single life can be extremely isolated and lonely. I'm not looking for sympathy by saying that, just wanted to explain myself.

Another thing to share is that I've hardly told anyone who knows me in the real world about this blog, even though it has been going 18 months now. I can't see that changing anytime soon either.

So, there you go. I've decided to try and be more open so this is my first attempt. It may well be my last but I will see how I get on.

But to finish on a positive note, I did a bit of on-line shopping and had this big pile of fabric delivered yesterday as I really needed some more! There is a lot more yardage in that pile than I want to admit, even to myself...


Sarah said...

love how you said its your first and may well be your last lol I think one of the many beauties of blogland is that you are free to give as much or as little info as you wish, its always your choice. I'll share a secret with you too - I feel pretty inadequate when I read about all the things people get done, and how quickly people pick things up and produce new ideas. I'm a total beginner, but I feel I should be much better cos its not like I have a career to fit in or family either. Ach well, like you said, in reading blogs I do get so much encouragement and soooo many ideas to keep on pushing myself. So I'm awffy glad they're there or I'd not be doing half the cool stuff I'm attempting ;-)

Shay said...

I think on your blog you get to be whoever you want to be. To share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with sharing.

Some people are more open and some people play their cards close to their chest. And I think it's really hard to put yourself out there . And you just did . And I liked seeing that side of you.

Sheila said...

Well said Siobhan, keep on blogging. I have a whole side of the family who know nothing of my blog - they wouldn't be all that interested.
I am surprised at how much I am getting out of this whole thing - never saw myself as the kind of person to leave comments etc, it's all sort of grown into a bit of an obsession......

Lynz said...

Aw, dude, inadequacy reading others' blogs is a common occurence - no matter WHAT your circumstances are! For me it's pattern designers and people who design for others. Which is really stupid coz I have NO desire to do either!! So why do they make me feel inferior? No idea. I think it's always good to remember no ones life is perfect and some people really DO only show the wonderful parts of their life.

Helsie said...

I think a lot of us feel inadequate when we read about all the terrific stuff others do. I know I do, but everyone is so encouraging that it makes me feel good about the little things I try.( you're one of them !!!)
One of the blogs I follow is completely anonymous - it allows the writer to sound off about her life and work and the people who bug her but she actually met up with me on my recent holiday to England. Imagine that- I am the only person in the world who knows who she is !!!
This blogging world is fantastic. It allows you to be in control like no other medium. I love to gradually get to know my new friends - little by little.

Lane said...

You know me, I put it all out there and hope I say it right. Don't think things won't change, tho. I was 46 when a child came into my life, from a totally unexpected place, and a totally unexpected time. And, I am blessed. But, I will share that I wish I hadn't shared my blog address with so many people I've met face to face. That sometimes inhibits my ability to be honest. Take care and hang in there. Lane